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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182305">Conversations We Never Had</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudoAly/pseuds/JudoAly'>JudoAly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Station 19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Gen, Grief, the show runner is stupid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:34:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182305</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudoAly/pseuds/JudoAly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Knowing Vicley has been ignored all Season 3, let's let Vic and Sullivan have it out after 3x15.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Victoria Hughes/Lucas Ripley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Conversations We Never Had</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The whole season 3 is bullshirt and the two people closest to Lucas Ripley never have a conversation to each other. I have no faith that we'll ever get any resolution on the show, but I'll give it to you here.</p><p>I did cry, a lot, in the middle of writing this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>3x15 after Vic and Travis wandered around doing building inspections for no clear reason on their day off. Vic confronted Sullivan after some pointless flashbacks about characters we never met before. (The actress has a beautiful voice but this is Station 19, not musical theater.)</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know why you sent Travis and me out on this bullshit assignment. You can't make us work on our days off, and I'm not the fire inspector, and we're not freaking social workers either." Vic confronted Sullivan outside his house.</p><p> </p><p></p><div>
  <p>"You have something to say about the way I run the battalion?" Sullivan had enough on his mind without this too. Andy was collapsing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yeah, I do. You're working for this corrupt asshole that's Chief. Luke would have never done this."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sullivan glared at her. "You don't know anything about Luke. You dated him for 5 minutes. And then you forgot him." He couldn't communicate enough bitterness and venom in those words.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I did not forget him," she crossed her arms over her chest. "How can you say that to me? I loved him."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh, did you? That's why you brought a doctor to the station barely a month after his body was cold. You know, when my wife died, it took me 15 years to find a relationship. <em>15 years</em>. Not 15 minutes."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fuck you, Chief. It's not like you have a leg to stand on. You doing Dixon's bidding. You married Andy after dating her for what - like a month. <em>That should have been us. That should have been me and Luke, not you</em>."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Yet, I seem to have cared more about Luke than you did," Sullivan didn't feel like pretending things were okay today.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You don't know what I'm feeling. You never even talked to me about it. The last time we spoke about him was at his funeral. That's it." She couldn't help the tears forming behind her eyes.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You didn't deserve Luke. He was my best friend. You barely knew him." Sullivan retorted.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"You froze him out for 15 years. I knew him. You were his friend for a whole week before he died? You can't foist your guilt about that on me." Vic wasn't going to take this from him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"<em>You didn't love him. If you loved him, you wouldn't be screwing around with new guys now</em>." Sullivan had the satisfaction of watching her recoil like he'd slapped her.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"<strong><em>I love him</em></strong>." Vic screamed. She repeated herself more quietly. "I love him. I love him so much that I will never heal. I can't be sunshine and happiness and live with the empty space he made. There's this endless black void that never stops. I can cover it up for a little bit - put a Band-Aid over the bullet hole - but it never stops bleeding." Tears fell down her cheeks. "No one will ever compare. But what do you want me to do? Become you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Sullivan started to reach out a hand and then pulled it back. "I'm sorry. You're right. He and Claire were the only people I was close to. And I was only starting to get better when Luke died. Maybe that's why I'm so desperate to hold on to Andy."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Vic nodded slowly. "He was always hoping you two would fix things. And it would have made him happy at the end." She directed her discussion back to the original problem.  "Remember he loved his team, his stations, and his department more than he loved himself. He would never ask you to lie for him, and he would never falsify building inspections. He was good and honorable, and we're not. I don't know what Dixon has on you, but is it worth destroying everything Luke stood for?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The Battalion chief flinched. She'd scored another hit. "You're right. You're right."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Luke said I have the best ideas." Vic brushed away her tears. She waited a few seconds and continued slowly. "If I ever buy it in a fire, can you bury whatever they find of me next to him? And I don't want people to mourn. I'll be with him at last."</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then she did that thing that he realized she'd been doing for so long. She smiled to get it acted like none of it ever happened. "See. Now we both feel better. Bye, Chief." She walked off.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Bye, Hughes." Sullivan sighed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now he had to go have a talk with Dixon. For her. For him. For the one and only unforgettable Lucas Ripley.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'll see if I have time to post anything later this week on the other story.</p><p>I am so over the BS of Season 3 that I'd rather have Vic die and see Ripley again in heaven than watch any of Season 4.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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